can I ask you a favor?
Hey! How are you? I’m doing alright. I mean, I struggle. My husband sometimes works a lot. I have a short fuse and I’m always tired. BUT I’m working hard to find joy in the everyday; to pause before I react; to randomly buy them a popsicle from the old guy in a tank top because it’s Friday, and it feels like summer. I’m trying to meditate while I wash the endless dishes piled in the sink, focusing on the warm water and the rhythmic motion of scrubbing. I'm trying to re-frame the mundane task of laundry by being grateful we have enough clothes to wear clean ones (almost 😉) every day.
If I'm being honest, every day feels like an uphill battle. I am surrounded by clutter as much as I long for simplicity. I have anxiety over a lot of things I probably shouldn't. (Did I say that right? I should have worded it differently. Am I going to poison my children by allowing them to eat that? Should we go to the doctor for this? )
One thing I’ve come to realize that most women do, (especially online) is apologize. Can I ask you a favor? Stop. Stop apologizing for the grainy pictures, your frizzy hair, your cluttered counters, your lack of makeup, your tired eyes. And please, please, sweet friend—don’t apologize for your children. Don’t apologize for their shrieks of laughter (or annoyance) in the background of your video. We get it. I get it. Don't apologize for your body, for your ideas, for your failures, for your life.
The only times we should be saying the words, "I'm sorry," is when we have made a mistake and wronged someone. Remember my little chat about re-framing? A while ago I heard or read that instead of apologizing, say "Thank you." So, instead of saying "I'm sorry for being late," say "Thank you so much for your patience, I underestimated how much time we had to get here."
"Thank you for not judging me by the behavior of my children."
"Thank you for being my friend even though I'm awkward."
"Thank you for coming to my home to see me, not my mess."
Instead of apologizing for your real, ordinary, messy life, show gratitude for the abundance and the beauty of it all. After all, gratitude is the necessary ingredient for a joy-filled life.